The desire to mark territory, or to simply leave a trace of our existence is irrepressible.
Twisted logic, to place the mark on nature, or a microcosm of mankind and the planet?
The desire to mark territory, or to simply leave a trace of our existence is irrepressible.
Twisted logic, to place the mark on nature, or a microcosm of mankind and the planet?
Leisurely Payment
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?No time to plumb the handbag dark,
And choose the card that hits the markNo time to rummage diligent
Despite the queuing time we spentNo time to see, with groceries packed
The line behind grow long and stackedNo time to turn at Anger’s glare
White knuckles on its cash preparedNo time to make its face go red
With our refusal to think aheadA poor life this if, fill of care
We have no time to stand and stareWith apologies to WH Davies
In response to DP: Game of Groans
As a writer I like to think that words have a permanence, but as this headstone proves, that is not so.
A little something to celebrate the birth of uncle Bill, and knocking on the door of a weekly writing challenge:
To Bury Shakespeare
Shall I compare you to a bag of douche?
You speak more smugly and knowing it all
Before your erudition we seem louche
The leering, unendowed, intellect small
And even when you get too grandiose
Calling the sun and moon to witness bear
You carry it with such nonchalant pose
That women swoon and call your poesy fair
We steal your words between our gritted teeth
Become the plagiarist to lift a skirt
They may succumb, but we know underneath
We are your students in the art of flirt
So long as women want romantic words
You are the Jock and we are but the Nerds
Ali Abbas
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Cast into a pool of artists the DP “how do you express yourself” seems like facile trolling (although I bow to the intellect that can come up with these prompts day in, day out).
The challenge (head slap) is not to blurt the answer but to scrabble beneath it looking for little nuggets of truth. Which is what got me thinking of Horace. One of his odes has stuck with me since those halcyon school days that were filled with Latin and Greek:
Exegi monumentum aere perennius,
regalique situ pyramidum altius,
quod non imber edax, non Aquilo impotens
possit diruere aut innumerabilis
annorum series et fuga temporum.
Non omnis moriar
Odes 3:30
He compares his body of verse to a monument “more lasting than bronze” that will survive the elements and the passage of the seasons. For some reason this has stayed with me when Virgil, Martial, Homer and Herodotus have all faded. Perhaps he was onto something. I’ve ended the quote at “I will not die completely ” and in that Horace has succeeded.
I like making things. Putting something of myself into a vessel, be that literally or figuratively and then gifting them to others. It is in part that memory of Horace that has become a call to action: exegi monumentum aere perennius. A treehouse, a treasure box, a picture, a book, a poem, a story. By gifting them a part of me has been detached, given homes with those I love or complete strangers, and perhaps one day when they are old and grey it is my book that will be pulled down, and a soft look recalled.
Which leads me to an infrequently recurring theme of Harry Potter, Hari Putr as he’d be known in Punjabi. I wonder if JKR was on to something with those horcruxes? Isn’t every work of art, every creation in which we pour a little of ourselves, a means of sustaining life after death? The worms or the fire will claim us, but our works will live on. So here’s the real question: not how do you express yourself, but why? Is it, in the end, when you peel back the layers of slavery to the inspiration, and “I’m compelled to” and all the other arty snake oil, just the basic, visceral desire to live on. A desire, before we get all lofty and call upon Melpomene to crown us with the wreath of Apollo, as Horace did, that we share with every living thing from amoeba upwards.
End
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In my final year at university was I was both baffled and smitten by one of my lecturers. She only taught a short course (four one hour lectures), but it was enough for me to pen a poem to her, and leave it for her in her college pigeon hole (thats not a euphemism, it is something we had in the years before email).
I may have a manuscript somewhere, but no chance of finding it. It went something like this (with apologies to TSE).
On a textual note, our terms (semesters) were arranged in eight week blocks, and the final exams were known as Part Two of the degree course.
Giorogia
Waves of meaningless words
Lap at the shores of comprehension
In four hours Giorgia
There was no time for you
Or time for me
Or time for a hundred visions and revisions
Before Part Two.
And now week four
All this and so much more
I do not understand.
Me (c 1993)
END
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More memories from college collated here
A Question of Moments
by Ruswa Fatehpuri
In a life made up of moments
Of which I was but one
What will you remember
When I am dust and gone?
Will the page on which I met you
The page on which we kissed
Be well thumbed and worn
Or passed over and missed?
Will you ever turn to us
And plot the path we took?
Will you smile or will you weep
Or will you never look?
Will you tell your children
Of all that we forsook?
Or will we be forgotten
And torn out of the book?
In response to the turn back time prompt
My Do Over post is also of some relevance
You can find more of Ruswa Fatehpuri here
Chapatti Passion and the Gift of Mother’s Day
The culinary force that has bound together families across the subcontinent for generations has not travelled well with the diaspora. The effort, the skill, and the inclination are missing, and I fear the home made western chapatti is in terminal decline.
Chapattis are messy. Although they are no more than flour and water, perhaps with the barest pinch of salt, rolling them out makes a mess. Flour goes everywhere.
In India, where I had the privilege of eating the best chapattis ever made (by my aunt), the messiness is not a problem. The excess flour is swept out on stone floors. The cooker was a wood stove, the pan an upturned dome (allows the broad thin disc of dough to spread and become thinner). They are perfect while they are still hot enough to burn your fingers. The magic goes as they cool.
In a western kitchen, however crisp and spartan it may be, there are edges and splash-backs where the flour will catch. As the dough is cooked and toasted on a hot pan there is a lot of smoke. In a closed kitchen, even with the best extractor fan, some of it will settle. It does not matter in an open courtyard, but it matters here. More time is spent cleaning up than is spent making the chapattis.
And there’s the rub. Chapattis are more than anything a question of time and effort. Kneading, rolling, flipping, and then cleaning up. As we get busier and look for speed and convenience the art is being devalued.
My mum has asbestos fingers. She can pick and flip chapattis off the pan without any implements, and I was born with a burn proof mouth: I can pluck the topmost hottest one from the pile, and juggle it between bone melting bites. My mum misses me on the days she makes chapattis and I am not there. She frequently sends them wrapped in foil, ostensibly for the kids, but knowing I will exact a toll on the package. On mother’s day, the first after her heart operation, we descended on her, and she wielded the rolling pin with joy as I and all the grandkids clamoured for more. It is the perfect symbiotic relationship, she loves to feed, we love to be fed; repeated no doubt across a billion families around the globe.
Mum was absurdly pleased when all four grandchildren were overheard saying how much they loved chappatis, and number three chimed in with “especially when Dadi makes them by hand.” Sweet innocent child. as if there was any other way. Ready made chapattis are evil.
That was my mother’s day gift to mum; we relaxed the restrictions on her activities and allowed her to get the rolling pin out. She couldn’t have been happier.
There is an art and an ecstasy to eating chapattis, separate to any other food stuff. They have to be just cooked. The half life to decaying into mere higher quality bread is minutes (although even dry and days old they outclass the alternatives). At the moment of perfection there is a choice to be made. Eat them as they are, still steaming and you know pleasure like no other in this world. Land one on a plate and smear it with butter, losing vital seconds of heat, and you will be paid back by entering paradise. But the paradise of houris and grapes and shady trees is a veil, a trap for those whose interest was their own soul. Those who wish to achieve true proximity to the divine tear down this veil, and add a little more butter, so the last mouthful of the chapatti glistens with heavy drops of gold. Behind the veil is God: a matron at a stove, with a hot pan rolling balls of dough.
The hot chapatti also raises every other meal to gourmet status. Even a committed carnivore like me will happily dive into a bowl of daal when armed with torn pieces of chapatti to use as scoops. Shami kebabs, the mix of mince and lentils, with a burnt crust on the outside, fiery with green chillies inside and washed down with tea are the perfect all day, anytime meal: dry heat, chilli heat, liquid heat. Korma, that king of dishes, ascends beyond royalty to the throne of Solomon.
You’ll have noticed I have not mentioned the other two members of the flatbread trinity – puris have been condemned utterly by the campaign against saturated fats, and parathas have been abandoned by association. I am alas left in the one dimension of monotheism: the chapatti.
There was a moment that dislocated me in time on Mother’s Day. My nephew pressed his rolled chapatti with butter against his chest because it was too hot to hold in his hand, and yet was unwilling to relinquish it, and then bit into it with a huge grin on his face. That grin is the key, which means my sister in law has learned from my mother, and the art will live on at least another generation.
END
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DP: Mr Sandman – The Terror of the Mirror
Methought I heard a voice cry, “Sleep no more!
Macbeth does murder sleep”—the innocent sleep,
Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care,
The death of each day’s life, sore labor’s bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course,
Chief nourisher in life’s feast.
Macbeth 2:2
I am a careful chatelaine. Each door is pulled shut and locked before another opened. I step lightly from moment to moment, each diligently separate, never meeting myself on the way in or out. Masks and costumes hung on the hook inside each door.
If I keep you in a room you do not know me.
Sleep is my enemy. She steals the keys and leaves the doors wide open. The scents of separate lives, cheap coffee, starch, stale cigarettes, Baldessarini blend unbalanced.
Tales told in each domain dance a Viennese waltz, eyes searching behind the masks for lies and truths and hints of what the whole might be.
The friend of my enemy is my enemy. Sleep sets all the small parts free. Somewhere in the puzzle there is me. And so I fear to sleep and sleep in fear. Not falling to the welcome clasp of pillows but captured and manhandled by exhaustion, body fallen at odd angles.
For all my great to success to keep them all apart, in sleep the parts of me can coalesce unchecked and untamed until in that dim corridor, lamps turned low in deference to the hour, I see a shadow solidify, blank face accumulate expression, and I beg the sun to rise before the animation can complete.
END
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